As June draws closer, Mr. Sparks and I are approaching a time of transition. This might have been our last year of training…though we have signed up for more 🙂 That being said, the main chapter of our residency is coming to a close.
There are certainly extra layers to this transition with COVID-19 going on right now in May 2020, but I think a lot of similar feelings would have come up regardless of a worldwide pandemic.
What will next year be like?
Completely different province, different people, different procedures. I’ve gotten used to how things are set up here, I know who to talk to when a question comes up, and I can make it to my various workplaces with my eyes closed.
I feel a little ball of tension in my chest when I think about transitioning. I decided on extending training because I love the area of medicine I would be focusing on, and I decided to change training environments a) because it would be my last opportunity to get in as much learning as I can and b) Mr. Sparks was also potentially going to do further training in the same city.
I don’t regret my decision – yet I cannot help but feel moderately nervous about the upcoming changes.
This could be a spectacular opportunity to bomb any future job opportunities if I turn out to be a dud in the eyes of the program I have been accepted into >.<
What will happen work-wise?
Ahhh, the perennial question. Coming into medical school, I had no family members who have walked this path before me and did not know the landscape of medicine in Canada at all. It was an uncomfortable surprise to realize that getting into medical school was just the first step. Possibly the easiest, depending on where your subsequent medical interests take you.
Next comes CaRMS. Will I get into my program of choice? Depending on what you choose, this could be as low as a 1 in 2 chance of success (see slide 64 for pertinent 2020 CaRMS match data), competing against some pretty phenomenal peers. (Ever want to feel super inspired and simultaneously inadequate? Attend a medical school talent night show or concert. Or for those in residency, participate in CaRMS application reviews. The most stellar CVs seem to get more jaw-dropping every year).
Okay, so you got into the program of your choice. (Mr. Sparks got into one of those pretty much 1 in 2 chance programs, not backing up with any other specialties).
Hurray!
You bask in the glow of success for a few months until you realize (if you are new to the medical landscape) that there are fellowships to worry about afterward. O___O More competition.
By this point, one might start to lift the head to take a squintier look around the landscape and realize that, fellowship or no fellowship, there may not even be a job waiting for you at the end of it all.
So, that’s the boat that Mr. Sparks is in. That is the worst-case scenario boat. I am happily in a much nicer boat, although of course still worried about him, and worried about my chances of finding a workplace and workmates that I will love. (Luckily, I already know I love the work itself – some people also find out later that they are not so enamoured with the work itself – doubly hard to endure given the demanding nature of medicine).
So, this is normal-times stress related to work. Of course, with the COVID pandemic, Royal College exams being delayed, independent medical licenses coming who-knows-when, with no more dedicated study time for an exam whose schedule date is yet unconfirmed…this is an especially difficult time of transition. My heart goes out to all my fellow final-year residents. We will be fine and we will get through this. It is just going to suck for a while yet until we get there.
Dreams and Hopes
If you have stuck through these ~650 depressing words about worries, I am impressed!
Things are not all bad at this time – some of it the flip side of what I have already written about. It is a matter of perspective sometimes 🙂
I am so excited to learn new things and new ways of doing things. I am excited to get to know some of the amazing preceptors I met on elective last autumn better as a resident part of their program. I am excited to explore a new city with my partner-in-crime, Mr. Sparks, and deepen the bonds I have with friends in said city in person (whenever the pandemic eases up enough). I am excited to meet new people outside of the medical community in this city – it is larger than where I am at currently, full of other FI/RE people and cool folks from all walks of life.
I am also approaching the future job situation with the mindset of – “As long as we are together, we will be okay.” So long as Mr. Sparks finds a job somewhere, we will make it work. He identifies as a city kinda guy, but I think humans can find joy anywhere, so long as there is community. We are lucky enough to at least have a community of two to rely on, and I have belief that we can form roots wherever we find ourselves.
If you are finding yourself feeling adrift, either at some kind of transition point and/or buffeted by the waves of COVID, I hope you can take some time as well to acknowledge both your worries and your dream about the future.
-Dr.FIREfly
